(Source: ourtimeorg)


wonnderr-lusttt:

looow-tus:

undftdaniel:

defend-sissy-boy-emo:

jadelyn:

holypuckingcow:

abbysetcetera:

Adulthood doesn’t mean you stop drinking juice pouches and eating fruit snacks. It means buying your own. 

and mixing them with vodka

At 3 in the morning while marathoning your favorite show because nobody can tell you to go to bed.

And then regretting your decisions the next morning.

Because you have to work.

and make more money to buy fruit snacks and juice pouches.

and vodka

(Source: asexualarmin)


bibleslut:

Me as hell

bibleslut:

Me as hell

(Source: cybergata)


People always make Juliet out to be dumb in Romeo and Juliet, but I think she at least had some sense where Romeo didn't have much of any
Romeo: I was thinking about this chick earlier who I said I was in love with but now I love that girl over there that is very likely to either belong to my family's enemy or be close with my family's enemy as it is their party I am crashing
Juliet: I do not like being so young and forced into a relationship with an older man, but oh there's a cute guy more my age over there. And since he's here he must have been invited and is there for a reasonable love match for myself
--
Romeo: We should kiss right now at this party
Juliet: No that is a super dumb idea
Romeo: *kisses her anyway*
Juliet: That was dumb of you
--
Romeo: We should get married right now
Juliet: We don't know each other. Shouldn't we wait until at least a little time has passed?
Romeo: Like tomorrow?
Juliet: Sure, fine.
--
Juliet: We're married now, so we have to try and make things better between our families.
Romeo: Right.
Romeo: It seems I have killed your cousin and am now exiled.
--
Juliet: Ok so since Romeo fucked up I'm gonna fix this shit by taking a harmless sleeping liquid. He'll come and get me and we can go away together.
Romeo: *immediately kills himself*
Juliet: For fucks sake.

cadaver-expert:

odlaws:

morticians

omgggg, love this!!

cadaver-expert:

odlaws:

morticians

omgggg, love this!!


officialunitedstates:

haircutters:  “hey how are you where do you go to school what grade are you in what did you have for breakfast this morning how much money is in your bank account what is your social security number”


vortisaurus:

so I hadn’t seen a Star Wars one of these yet…


hippopotamus-hi-tops:

things your friends will say if you’ve made a good pun:

  • get out
  • fuck you
  • shut the fuck up
  • oh my god why
  • you need to stop
  • you’re not funny
  • that was terrible



notsadjusttiredofthisplace:

Do you ever crave to be touched? Even in the most innocent way. I want someone to just hug me for a very long time or someone to lean against/ someone to lean on me. Maybe while sitting or laying next to someone just to have our legs, arms, or feet touching would be nice. I think that when you’re lonely for so long you constantly want to feel someone against you just as a constant reminder that you’re not alone.


problackgirl:

*bully pushes you*

*you push bully back*

bully: wtf you piece of shit, that’s reverse bullying


ammit420:

whenever i buy new clothes i take them home and im just like yo what the fuck did i wear before i had this


cake-full-of-fist:

pleatedjeans:

via

i am graaaaape

me: are there any spirits listening
ouija: yes are you alone
me: yes
ouija: haha nice whats up :P
me: trying to contact my dead grandmother
ouija: cool cool so what would u be doing if i was alive right now lol

princesszach:

yochevedke:

confessionsofayoungsexworker:

This guy sent me a dick pic so I google searched and sent back a bigger dick pic. This was the response.

This is beautiful

“A boy sends you an unsolicited dick pic… send back a picture of a better looking dick. … A more photogenic dick. A dick with a future.”

princesszach:

yochevedke:

confessionsofayoungsexworker:

This guy sent me a dick pic so I google searched and sent back a bigger dick pic. This was the response.

This is beautiful

A boy sends you an unsolicited dick pic… send back a picture of a better looking dick. … A more photogenic dick. A dick with a future.”